She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
