If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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