I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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