she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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