Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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