this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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