I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
