In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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