Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
