Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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