I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
