I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
