Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so explain again why im purple
no
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I think i got beer on your cat.
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