So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
