I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
