I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
