i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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