Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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