no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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