just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize