And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
