You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
