Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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