She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My pussy is not your playground.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
