i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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