True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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