So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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