laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
