Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
