Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
