so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
