You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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