Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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