i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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