I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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