I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize