Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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