no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
organizing the empties. That sober.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
