Dual....:-)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
