My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
