You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize