My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
