brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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