Michael Bay diarrhea
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
