Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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