I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
