i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
