As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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