Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
