what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
