I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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