Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
is wine microwaveable?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
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