are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
