found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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