i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
