just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you win again, gameday.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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