yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
