Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
