Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize