i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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